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Page history last edited by Kacper Kotlewski 1 year, 9 months ago

Exercise 19


You can start your assertiveness training by highlighting your strengths - this is helpful when you mark your territory, define your competences and, of course, build and strengthen your self-confidence.


When thinking about communication and building relationships, it is worth remembering the art of Communication Without Violence, M. Rosenberg laid the foundations for the language of empathy towards oneself and towards other people. According to its premises, when building a message or criticism of a given person, we should remember to:

  • Avoid generalizations and damaging judgments like "You never keep your word. You're hopeless."

  • It is important to name your emotions, which no one can question, and to stick to the facts. Instead of saying, "You're always late," refer to a specific event: "I'm sorry because you're late for an appointment."

  • Finally, you can say what you expect from your interlocutor in relation to the situation, eg "I would like you to call in the future and let me know you will be late".

  • You always have the right to say no


If you really do not want to agree to something, you have a choice: either say "no" to someone and "yes" to someone - then you will lose respect for yourself, or ... refuse, risking that someone will be offended - then you will behave however, a sense of inner harmony with oneself.13


At NVC, we take into account both our own and other people's needs. We distinguish between thoughts and feelings by clearly communicating our inner states. We focus on facts, not judgments. You can successfully use this method in many different situations - both to prevent conflicts and effectively manage the existing ones. In this way, each side will be heard and it will be possible to work out more favorable solutions.


Talking about feelings and needs helps to prevent misunderstandings and clears the atmosphere. People feel better about being together. Their relationships improve, they cooperate more willingly and effectively. This tool also works well for providing feedback. It helps to present it in a constructive, non-attacking form. Such a message minimizes a defensive attitude, introduces the possibility of dialogue: the recipient can respond to the statement.


The NVC message consists of 4 elements:

  • Observation

  • Feeling

  • Need

  • Request


Each of them should be included in the speech. The form depends on who you are referring to:

  • to yourself (empathy inward)

  • to others (empathy outside)



13. Efektywna komunikacja nie tylko w biznesie – metoda NVC, https://www.gowork.pl/blog/efektywnakomunikacja-nie-tylko-w-biznesie-metoda-nvc/














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